Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Is It a Forceful Divorce?

It happens many a times, while signing the divorce papers also, our mind remains parted about the right and the wrong. Why? Because we still love that person or at some corner of our heart or we know that the person still loves us. When does this conflict arise? And even after sitting in two boats, we don't try to stabilize ourselves. Rather we try to leave both the boats and fall in the middle forever just for saving one's ego. 

Who doesn't try to save one's relationship, the bond closest to one's heart? But, why does it still fail? Because we try to save the love in the same manner by which we get the love. As saving something is much more difficult than breaking it and we try to apply the same efforts in both the cases, that's why the relationship goes for a toss.

Can you all imagine three things which you follow in such circumstances? Yes, I knew. Either you would try to reassure the person or argument or express your deep love a thousand times. But these outcomes of our emotional frustration never work. Because the more you argue, the more stressed a relationship becomes. The more you try to hide your faults or show yourself on the right track, the more suspicious it becomes. And the more you try to express the part which never actually worked for the relationship, the less and less valuable it becomes.

The best way to save the relationship is to first agree with the reasons which lead to the disturbances in it and then rather than arguing for any part or trying to hide the scars with the expressions of love, we should act in a way that the other person knows the expressions himself/ herself. Till we try to show the negativity of the person and blame him for all the wrongs, no solution can be reached. But the moment we try to understand the situation and rather than pointing towards the wrong steps taken by the person, we start praising him for all the good things even less which he did, the person gets on the right track automatically.

 Everyone knows his/her shortcomings. And the very day we start following this path, the other person not only changes the things which we never liked but also the things which he/she may be aware about himself or herself. And from there itself the sweetness enters and remains there with the shooting graph forever.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Reasons for Rise in Divorce Cases

The rate of divorce has seen a steep rise in the past one decade. Now, it’s not limited to any specific class of the society as it was categorized before. Not only the ultra rich but, middle class couples are also suffering because of this.

Till the past few years, its shooting number was noticed in mainly the European nations but, now Asian and African nations have also joined the league. As per a recent survey, the highest number of divorced women lives in southern region of India.

Increased Pressure on Couples

The major reason for divorce is the increased pressure on the couples. It’s mostly seen in households where both the partners are working. Due to lucrative salaries offered by private companies, people become a part of it and most of the times end up burying their family lives under the burden of meeting targets.

No Time for Sex

The life for working couples becomes so busy that they hardly get any time for each other. By the end of the day, both get so tired that they lose interest in love making or spending some quality time with each other. Men feel frustrated as women don’t agree for sex and women feel tortured as they can’t even think of it after a tiresome job. So, both prove unsuccessful in respecting each other’s feelings and remain incapable in 

Handling Responsibilities.

Even some legal courts have also declared that the relationship of a husband and wife becomes estranged in case they don’t give enough time to each other. For maintaining the strength of the bond, it’s necessary to be with each other and understand as well as respect each other’s needs.

Lack of Time for Own Child

The burden on working couples is doubled if they have any child. With the taking over of nuclear families by joint families, the child has to be left in the hands of an ayah which involves a lot of risk. Apart from the risk factor, a kind of guilt also remains in the parents as they can’t squeeze out enough time for their child. This leads to increase in the frustration level.

Maladjustment Problems

Most of the divorces happen due to maladjustment problems between the couples. Generally, men want to get all the household chores done by women and women demand for help from men as both work and both get tired as well.

The need of the day is to make both the partners understand each other’s feelings. The time is to shed the patriarchal fever and live in the reality. Now, time has changed and there is no difference between a son and a daughter. Parents spend the same amount of money on their girls which they spend on their boys. So, from the beginning only if both the sexes are given equal importance, how can they accept a biased treatment after entering into the bond of marriage?

Lack of Tolerance

Apart from this, there is also lack of tolerance in the modern generation which converts a little spark into destructive fire bringing the relationship to an end. For this, the virtue of patience should be taught from the beginning itself as it can’t be inculcated in just a few years.

Solution- Set Priorities Beforehand

Not only one but, both are equally responsible in a marriage for making or breaking a relationship. So, the priorities of life should be set beforehand as the success and failures are all the outcomes of our own skills.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Whom to Blame for a Divorce?

It's surprising as well as shocking to see the shooting rate of divorce cases in the society. There used to be a time when it was considered a tabooed aspect of one's life, but nowadays we have got used to it. And on top of that, there is not even the shortage of such people who feel proud in increasing the numbers of such cases in their lives. It's quite obvious that a person will file a divorce only if the marriage is not happy. With the modern age, people should have become more understanding with increased power of tolerance in their relationships, but the river seems to be flowing in the opposite direction.

Whose fault is that? The fault of technology or the fault of money. The fault of lifestyle or the fault of culture. In my opinion, none of these reasons can be set as curtains behind which such cases prop up. No and an absolute no! Because all the things mentioned above are feeling less and created by man himself. How could the owner be controlled by the things he created himself?

Yes, the rising graph of such cases held the people responsible themselves in 90% of the cases. Marriage, a bond for the permanent life, that's what mentioned at the time of marriage, is made a temporary relationship. Man made the money not the vice versa so, why he is getting into its trap and forgetting his roots. And it would not be wrong to blame those celebrities making records in the number of marriages and media waiting for the news of their divorce and spicy stories about the next marriage. What example do they set for us? Do you think a person not satisfied with his relationships can ever be satisfied with the power of money? Better, we common people look deep inside ourselves and understand the resolution for this. And this applies for both man and woman.

A man can become pregnant and a woman can become a father in this scientific world, but the instincts can't ever be changed. Divorce should be the last option as even Bible also stands against it. Not only mental depression and shock to the divorcees, but the badly affected part is the children they own as they become estranged and insecure in many ways any security be provided by the court.

The lack of commitment is the root cause of the increasing rate of divorces. Who doesn't fight and which place and person of the world is devoid of misunderstandings? But, it's the love, respect, tolerance for each other's feelings and emotions which keeps a relationship intact and forever green and going.