Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

A Living Relationship or a Dead Relationship

A few days back, I met a friend who had been living with his girlfriend for the last five years without marriage. It's a very common thing now a day and you would be really surprised if anyone shows one's astonishment over these things. But, one question remains. Was this common 20 years back? We all know that it was not. So, what is that cause which has brought such drastic change in the entire set up of the society? Is it being more technological which has led to this effect? The answer would be and should a big no. then, is the wave of modernization responsible for this change? I know many would nod their heads in the positive direction. But, again it would be denied from my side. Dear friends, if we call this the result of being modernized then the word “modernization” itself have been taken in a wrong sense. In my opinion, modernization is the development of thoughts in a positive direction rather than shedding of morals and values.

Without deviating from our main topic, let's come back to the topic of living relationships. Accumulating the results of the thoughts from all directions, the central point blames the society itself which is formed of none other than us. Sometimes, it's the pressure of the society and the family of a person which forces him to reach the peak before getting into a bond. And that's very good for the future support. But, what about the ability of the person himself? Is he capable of maintaining his chastity till marriage or trying to exploit others for enjoyment and the privilege of being single? Some drives become so dominating that the emotions and even the precious bonds of the life seem a time pass. So, the first point which comes out is the lack of marriage at the proper age which leads to such an outcome. Girls need a kind of security and the boys urge for theemotional support and in order to meet these needs, they move to take such decisions in their lives. Many people reading this article may not agree with me as the above reason may not stand true for them.

So, the other reason may be the fear of breakage. Many a times, people having already suffered in such bonds don't feel interested in marriage as it becomes a social symbol with a long process and much other legality whereas the living relationships can be broken at any point of time without such issues. Although now a days government of many countries have started to stand in favor of long living relationships or domestic partnersbut the problem still persists. So, the primary reason which comes out of this discussion is the lack of commitment, the disrespect of social bonds and the lack of tolerance in relationships. And yes, that's the answer. The young man whom I referred in the beginning may not have guts to marry and get into a social bond but can continue to live in such a relationship as it fulfills his goals with every kind of freedom. If it's not true, then why doesn't he marry? I know the reason as he is my friend and he also agrees with that as he has many friends living in living but dead relationships for the same reason. Yes, I agree that sometimes, when man wants to marry the woman may not be interested and if the woman shows interest then the man may not give green signal. But, is living relationship the solution of this issue? Many minute things for us but of mountainous size for the couple are also there such as the fuss involved in divorces, legalities related to the rights on children and other insurance related questions which refrains the couple from doing so.

To rule over one's emotions and feelings and to love someone is the greatest achievement of one's life. A person may fail once, twice or may be thrice but not throughout his life. So, please move ahead and give a social name and respect to your relationship and get into a bond which the God would also admire. Think about the future and the children born out of such relationships. What would be their fault? Why should they suffer for the lack of commitment of their parents? So, friends, come out of the fear and become committed in your lives and for living a better life. Give your life a new direction and let your love live to the utmost with the highest respect in front of the whole world

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Is It a Forceful Divorce?

It happens many a times, while signing the divorce papers also, our mind remains parted about the right and the wrong. Why? Because we still love that person or at some corner of our heart or we know that the person still loves us. When does this conflict arise? And even after sitting in two boats, we don't try to stabilize ourselves. Rather we try to leave both the boats and fall in the middle forever just for saving one's ego. 

Who doesn't try to save one's relationship, the bond closest to one's heart? But, why does it still fail? Because we try to save the love in the same manner by which we get the love. As saving something is much more difficult than breaking it and we try to apply the same efforts in both the cases, that's why the relationship goes for a toss.

Can you all imagine three things which you follow in such circumstances? Yes, I knew. Either you would try to reassure the person or argument or express your deep love a thousand times. But these outcomes of our emotional frustration never work. Because the more you argue, the more stressed a relationship becomes. The more you try to hide your faults or show yourself on the right track, the more suspicious it becomes. And the more you try to express the part which never actually worked for the relationship, the less and less valuable it becomes.

The best way to save the relationship is to first agree with the reasons which lead to the disturbances in it and then rather than arguing for any part or trying to hide the scars with the expressions of love, we should act in a way that the other person knows the expressions himself/ herself. Till we try to show the negativity of the person and blame him for all the wrongs, no solution can be reached. But the moment we try to understand the situation and rather than pointing towards the wrong steps taken by the person, we start praising him for all the good things even less which he did, the person gets on the right track automatically.

 Everyone knows his/her shortcomings. And the very day we start following this path, the other person not only changes the things which we never liked but also the things which he/she may be aware about himself or herself. And from there itself the sweetness enters and remains there with the shooting graph forever.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Changing trends- Changing relations

It focuses on the impact of relations shared among the present day generation due to the changed lifestyle.

The bond of marriage has not remained as strong as it used to be. The strings of the bond scatter very soon as the thought of its permanence are no longer persistent. The rate of divorce may differ in various nations, but the increasing rate is highlighted everywhere. The main cause for the weakened condition of this institution is our changed life style and the obsession with self rather than thinking about anyone else. It leads to other reasons such as lack of time, increasing pressure, career oriented goals and the motive to earn more and more.

As fire can only be extinguished with the help of water in the same way one person is needed to listen to the other when needed. This is the point where we lack. Due to the increasing work pressure, we can’t tolerate even the simple things as the stress and the self factor overpowers us. It’s good that we are financially more stable than we used to be, but if it takes us apart then the negative factor is ruling here. May be we don’t need our spouse for the economic stability, but the emotional hollowness always follows. We can go ahead and marry the other, but the gap continues till we mend ourselves.

The other cause for the fall of this institution is the loss of its need itself. We are no longer living in a world where sex before marriage is considered a taboo and living with a man without legal papers is a crime. Today, the fear of restriction stops us from being a part of marriage as we try to enjoy all the priorities without prioritizing the actual relation. Sometimes, it’s also the result of being suffered once and the case of not taking the chance second time.

It’s not that you continue with a rotten relation just to keep its name, but it’s also not logical to run away from a bond for the fear to be found rotten. With a changed society, the changed meanings of relations have become acceptable, the only need is to keep them intact and infuse stability in them more with the help of emotions rather than different attractions. How much ever we change or grow high, the need for emotional stability and the requirement of someone’s shoulder to lie upon in loneliness will always be felt if we are still human beings. Let’s grow with emotions, rise with love and benefit with togetherness. Nothing in the world is more soothing than the thought that someone is there who will always stand by you. Neither the money nor the growth goes to the grave, only remains are the feelings we take from others and leave with others. Trends have changed, thoughts have developed, but let the heart be in its place as its displacement is always hurting.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Made in Heaven, Broken in Courts

The husband-wife relationship is formed on their understanding and also sometimes broken on their misunderstanding.

In spite of the web of terrorism and the cancer

of corruption, there always exists one bond which keeps us together on this earth. And it is the bond of relationship which makes our existence meaningful the most important chain of relationship which every human being shares with the other. But out of all relationships, the bond which always outstands is shared between a man and a woman and is thus called man-woman relationship. From the time immemorial, it holds the primary importance and we relate it to the story of Adam and Eve.

A man-woman relationship can be framed between a daughter and her father or a son and his mother. These man-woman relationships can be categorized as of one blood. But the sweetest of all and on the basis of which this planet exists is shared between a husband and a wife. Two beings out of completely two different worlds come together and make a beautiful world of their own.

However much the world fights over the rights of a husband or a wife but at the end it is they themselves who can bring a resolution to it. The fight can only be stopped by the mutual understanding among themselves. The day a husband keeps himself in the shoes of a wife and considers the miseries and expectations of a woman and a wife does the same for her husband, the fight will automatically come to an end.

It's not the legal rights which matter in a relationship but the respect for each other's positions and thus emotions. No court of the world can break a relationship on its papers till the flow of understanding and respect continues.